the grumpy old man remembers when babies were free

GEBS: Take us back. What was it like before subscription babies?

Him: Free. You just... had one. No contract, no tiers, no upsell. You want to know what "premium" meant back then? Premature. That was the whole feature set.

GEBS: And now?

Him: Now everything's a subscription. My thermostat has a subscription. My car has a subscription to unlock the heated seats I already paid for. Babies were bound to be next. I just didn't think I'd live to see it — and now I might live to see the next one too, because apparently that's an add-on.

GEBS: Would you subscribe?

Him: I already did. Don't tell my wife.