the proud owner of four gebs explains his parenting philosophy

GEBS: Four GEBs is a lot of GEBs.

Owner: I believe in scale. One kid, you're guessing. Four kids, you've got a sample size. I A/B test bedtimes.

GEBS: How are they doing?

Owner: Winning. All four. Constantly. I had the recessive "loses gracefully" trait removed from the package at checkout, so technically none of them know how to lose. It's caused some issues at the dinner table over board games, but I'd call those growing pains. Premium growing pains.

GEBS: Do you worry about the pressure you're putting on them?

Owner: They're GEBs. Pressure's a feature. I paid for the pressure.

GEBS: Last question — do you love them?

Owner: (long pause) I love what they represent.